I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I need a hoe opinion
go on
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
