There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
