MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
