That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
