Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
