this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
