how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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