u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize