Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
