So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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