so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
