Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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