Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
