addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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