Moan for me like Helen Keller
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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