Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
