I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
