I'm drive I can fine osifer
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
