so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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