her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize