We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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