The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
