That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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