oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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