Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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