I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
