So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
