so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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