Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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