get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
