I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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