she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The best revenge is premature balding
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
