dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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