awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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