so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
