I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
