i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
