so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize