your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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