JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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