now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i black out too much to be "responsible"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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