i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize