The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
