She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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