I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
