Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
