i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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