Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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