I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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