i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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