the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
