I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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