I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
