No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
