she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
