Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize