marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
