im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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