I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
