I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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