I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
