i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
