But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
