your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
as a side note pls kill me
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