i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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