It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize