nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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